Honesty amidst heartbreak
by VaryMyDays
Summary: A Downton Abbey one-shot set after the dinner scene in episode 5.7 during which Lord Merton's sons made their feelings about their father's intention to marry Isobel Crawley abundantly clear. Violet has been waiting in the car for Isobel to join her.


**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. T** **his story has not been beta-read, so any and all mistakes are my own.** **No copyright infringement intended.**

 **Honesty amidst heartbreak**

"That seemed rather a short conversation," Violet said, surprised at watching Isobel enter the car on the other side so soon after having left her at the house to speak to Lord Merton.

"Yes, it was," Isobel replied succinctly as she took a seat, nodding her appreciation to Molesley who closed the car door after her.

"Are you certain you wish to return home? Lord Merton's car doesn't appear to have left yet. If you feel the need to continue your talk with him, please do take your time. I will be waiting here until you are ready," Violet offered.

Isobel didn't respond verbally but simply turned her gaze towards Violet, allowing the overwhelming sense of sadness she felt in her heart to shine through in her eyes. Violet, visibly distressed by her cousin's pained expression, swiftly tapped at the partition with her cane to signal the chauffeur.

"Drive on."

As the car started to drive away from the Abbey, Violet turned to Isobel again.

"What transpired between you and Lord Merton, Isobel?" she asked sympathetically in an effort to encourage Isobel to speak about the aftermath of that shameful display Lord Merton's sons had put on during dinner.

"I'd rather not discuss what happened at this time if you don't mind, cousin Violet? I'm feeling quite tired," Isobel said apologetically as she looked away from Violet and stared out the window, wondering how her newfound happiness could have been so rudely taken away from her in a matter of mere moments.

Why did Dickie Merton's sons not approve of her marrying their father? When Larry Grey had so disparagingly cast her aside as a decent middleclass woman with neither birth nor fortune who would inevitably fail at her duties as their father's wife, it had felt like she'd been slapped across the face. Isobel had always made a conscious effort to refrain from judging people on appearances, social position or financial assets, yet here were these two young men who deemed her unsuitable based solely on superficialities since they hadn't even bothered to get to know her. The sense of utter humiliation had kept Isobel from being able to look anyone in the eye and made her want to leave Downton as quickly as possible. The crushing feeling of inadequacy had been near unbearable.

How could marrying for love be wrong, regardless of the apparent differences in social status? She did care deeply for Dickie after all; why couldn't his sons acknowledge that and support their father's decision? After all, she did not pose any threat to the memory of their mother especially since she'd elected not to take on a key role as one of the leaders of the county. She would leave that up to Dickie, while she tended to her duties at the hospital. She merely wanted to make him as happy as he had made her. Ever since they'd first met and Dickie had started to avidly yet gently court her, he had made her feel more alive than she had been in the last few years. He had reawakened strong feelings inside of her that had been all but forgotten – passionate feelings of love, joy and true happiness – and she wished for nothing more than to return the favour, as his wife.

It had taken Isobel some time to get comfortable with loving a man again as well as being loved in return, but when, after much deliberation, she had accepted Dickie's proposal, she had done so without reservation. After the excruciating personal losses she'd been through – first Reginald and then the heart-wrenching experience of losing Matthew – was she not deserving of some degree of happiness with a man who had proclaimed his love for her freely and honestly? The realisation and the subsequent ramifications of what had happened this evening just now started to take hold and Isobel found her eyes clouded with tears as she contemplated the right course of action to take.

As Isobel's thoughts kept wandering over the evening's events, she was unaware of Violet watching her intently, concern lacing her features. Violet knew Isobel well enough to know she shouldn't press her when she'd made it quite clear she was in no mood for further conversation, but something inside Violet made her want to reach out to Isobel. For the moment, though, she decided to keep her thoughts to herself – her heart crying along with the quiet tears that stained Isobel's cheeks. Yet as she looked away and out of the window on the other side of the car, the look of determination on her face betrayed her earlier sentiment; that staunch expression was proof to anyone who knew the Dowager Countess that she would not share what was on her mind – for now.

While the car slowly drove on towards the village, Violet felt her fiery temper rise to the surface. Over the years, she had carefully built her reputation as the formidable, and seemingly imperturbable, Dowager Countess of Grantham partly based on her ability to keep control of her emotions at all times, not once allowing them to control her. Though presently, she found herself unable to get passed the hurt that Lord Merton's sons had inflicted on Isobel. Not to mention Lord Merton himself. To her utter dismay, it had been Robert and then Tom, and _not_ Lord Merton, who'd spoken up vehemently in Isobel's defense. Violet had by no means approved of the language Tom had employed to voice his disgust, but truth be told, she'd been rather proud of the amiable young man for standing up for his family. Lord Merton, by contrast, had merely sat at the table, looking aghast and berating his eldest son for the embarrassment he'd inflicted upon him. Violet had resented him intensely for not having defended Isobel and proclaiming his love for her, even in the presence of the entire family and the servants.

Violet had never been in favour of public displays of affection – in fact, she'd felt rather ill at ease when Lord Merton had been gushing over Isobel after she'd invited both of them over for tea at the Dower House – but in this instance, it would have meant there would be no mistaking his intentions. Yet, he had done nothing of the sort and Violet had felt her heart ache for Isobel. She hadn't even dared to glance her way for fear of catching her eye and losing her sense of decorum – the same sense of decorum that had kept her from giving Larry Grey and his brother quite the tongue-lashing herself. In Violet's estimation, those boys needed to be brought down a peg or two, but it wouldn't have been proper for a lady of her standing to engage in such behaviour, though Lord knows, her desire to act on the urge had been strong.

* * *

To say Violet had not been supportive of Isobel and Lord Merton's relationship was grossly understating the facts. Not only had she been opposed to the union, she'd even gone so far as to employ Dr. Clarkson's help into driving them apart. Granted, that decision had been the result of a selfish need to hold on to her cherished companion rather than based on the conviction that the two of them were ill-suited - though she was loathe to admit to having been led by her emotions. Her actions notwithstanding, Violet hadn't once believed the love between Lord Merton and Isobel to be anything but true. Isobel was a woman of values and principles who wouldn't have accepted a proposal of marriage if love hadn't played a major, if not the deciding, part. To Isobel, money and social status were insignificant assets compared to what mattered most in life, loving and caring for one's family as well as others in need of aid.

Lord Merton's actions – or to be more accurate, the lack thereof – had disappointed and aggravated Violet beyond measure, and still did - the overly tight grip on her cane a physical manifestation of her lingering resentment. However, she decided this was not the time to let her own emotions take precedence. Isobel needed her sympathy and support.

Violet once again glanced over to Isobel whose tear-filled eyes were still fixated on the darkened world that passed idly by outside the car. Violet had never been known as a very tactile person nor one inclined to show affection easily and yet, in this moment, she felt the overwhelming need to assure Isobel she didn't have to face this predicament by herself. Violet carefully lifted her lace-gloved hand and placed it gently on Isobel's shoulder, trying to get her attention.

"Isobel? Isobel, dear?"

Isobel slowly became aware of a voice calling her as well as a hand resting on her shoulder. She turned her head towards the direction from which the voice originated and found Violet's eyes watching her closely, worry written all over her usually stoic face. Isobel gave her a half-hearted smile and patted the hand resting on her shoulder.

"I'm alright, cousin Violet."

"Isobel, you needn't keep up appearances for my benefit. You do realise that?" Violet said compassionately.

"After the events that transpired this evening, 'alright' could hardly be an apt description of your current state," she continued, squeezing Isobel's shoulder before she pulled her hand away to rest in her lap.

Isobel inhaled slowly before answering truthfully.

"No. You're right. I am not alright, and I don't think I will be for some time to come," her voice trembling and a quiet sniff accompanying her words.

Violet put her cane to one side, reached into her evening bag and handed Isobel one of her monogrammed lace-trimmed handkerchiefs.

"Would it help you to share what happened after I left you and Lord Merton to discuss matters?" Violet asked, careful not make Isobel feel rushed into giving voice to her feelings.

"There is really nothing to tell," Isobel said as she took the embroidered handkerchief from Violet with an appreciative curling of her lips.

"He asked me if my intentions had remained unchanged and I told him I was not able to talk about it at that time or any time soon to be quite frank. He didn't press matters further and left in a hurry when Timothy came to call for him rather agitatedly," Isobel concluded matter-of-factly.

"When will you meet with Lord Merton again?" Violet enquired.

"I really couldn't say. We haven't discussed any future plans," Isobel replied sadly, directing her gaze away from Violet and towards the dark surroundings outside, before she continued.

"I think it best to keep to myself, at least for a little while, until I'm able to decide what Larry and Timothy's feelings might mean in terms of my future with Dickie – if there is still one to be had."

Isobel delicately wiped away the tears that had once again started to flow freely.

"I am truly sorry, Isobel," Violet stated, suddenly feeling compelled to reach out and take hold of Isobel's hand, who was quite taken by surprise at her cousin's unexpected and unusual display of affection.

Violet gave her a reassuring smile before she continued, still holding her hand firmly in her own as if to physically impart her with the strength and the courage she needed to go on.

"Larry made his intentions quite clear from the moment he sat down to dinner. There is no question in my mind he was resolved to once again stir up trouble and humiliate the family with his reprehensible behaviour. When Mary informed me Lord Merton's sons would be attending Friday night dinner, I did voice my apprehension to her. Unfortunately, not without cause, though I could not foresee the extent to which Larry and his brother were intent on hurting you. I do wish there was some way I could have shielded you from their cruelty," she admitted, her voice slightly breaking as she finished speaking.

Isobel observed Violet closely while she voiced her thoughts – the comforting words, the sincerity in her voice, the almost indiscernible dew in her eyes, and the hand securely clutching her own, seemingly unwilling to let go. She was deeply touched by her cousin's unmistakable display of friendship and loyalty, though something inside her had slowly begun to change. Isobel was not one to surrender easily, if ever, yet she found herself considering the fact that Larry's spiteful words may have held a measure of truth.

"I'm afraid there's really nothing anyone could have done," Isobel replied dejectedly.

"Though I am truly grateful to Robert and Tom for defending my honour – or what remained of it," she added wryly, giving Violet's hand a small squeeze before pulling back and clasping her hands together.

"Larry and his brother merely meant to preserve their mother's memory. The thought of having to face their father's intended wife so soon after having lost their mother, might have been too much for them to bear," she sighed deeply, once more looking away from Violet.

"I do not understand how you can defend their actions, Isobel!" Violet exclaimed, surprised and even more annoyed by Isobel's rationalising.

"Their feelings about their mother may be understandable, however, that did not warrant the disrespectful way in which they spoke to you and decided to pass judgment without having had the decency to acquaint themselves with you. Their behaviour was reprehensible and entirely unforgivable," she stated adamantly, conscious of Isobel's changing mood and wanting to assure her that she hadn't been the one at fault.

Violet waited for Isobel to respond, hoping she would agree with her and allow her spirited nature to resurface, but when the silence lingered on, concern overtook Violet once again. She had never known Isobel to keep her opinions to herself, a trait Violet considered to be both irritating and refreshing. Had she been too harsh in her opinion of Lord Merton's sons? Was Isobel not willing to fight for her own happiness?

"Isobel?" she tried carefully.

Isobel looked back at Violet, her eyes void of emotion and her disposition having turned sullen.

"Perhaps there was truth in Larry's words," she said offhandedly.

"Whatever do you mean?" Violet raised her eyebrows, unpleasantly surprised by Isobel's indifferent tone.

"What if I do end up failing as Dickie's wife and embarrassing him in front of the county and his peers? I am a commoner after all," Isobel added sarcastically.

"Isobel! I do not approve of you speaking about yourself in such a way," Violet berated her cousin.

"You do not approve? I can vividly recall a time not too long ago when you were thinking along the same lines as Larry. You resented Matthew and me for intruding on _your_ family and disturbing the status quo," Isobel countered in defiance, her demeanour quickly becoming cold and detached.

Violet was rather taken aback by Isobel's sharp words and the abrupt shift in the conversation. Despite the current peaceful state their relationship was in, neither one of them had ever addressed the way their relationship had started over four years ago, and having to confront it now felt fairly disconcerting to Violet.

"Isobel, this is hardly the appropriate time or place to discuss such matters," Violet said through gritted teeth, her eyes motioning towards the chauffeur.

"I do not believe it will do either of us any good to focus on what has passed. Instead, we should be looking ahead, towards the future," she continued, trying to maintain her composure.

Isobel scoffed, "That is rich, coming from you! Aren't you the one who keeps extolling the virtues of the past?"

In an instant, the look in Violet's eyes turned from concerned to irate. Even though she was aware Isobel's current behaviour was the result of the awful humiliation Lord Merton's sons had inflicted upon her, she was not about to tolerate her cousin's impertinent tone without asserting herself.

"If you insist on continuing this conversation might I suggest a change in tone?" Violet's sarcastic inflection coming to the fore.

"Is that another thing about me you do not approve of?" Isobel retorted, fiercely opposing Violet whose gaze slightly narrowed.

"Do you deny your treatment of my son and me was less than amicable and entirely unjustified?" Isobel pressed on, her resentment building.

"I'd like to remind you, cousin Violet, that we did not choose to interfere with your lives. We were _asked_ to come to your family's aide because of that archaic entail. _You_ needed _our_ help; we certainly did not need yours nor your condescending, old-world views," Isobel concluded, feeling the satisfaction of finally being able to let Violet know just how much she'd been affected by her scornful behaviour.

Violet had grown increasingly resentful as Isobel's outrage built to an emotional conclusion and she had yet to respond to her grim accusations. Her first impulse was to pay Isobel back in kind by lecturing her on the way to conduct a proper discussion while keeping control of one's emotions. But as she pondered over her words, she couldn't deny the truth in what had been said, thoroughly upsetting though it may have been. She hadn't taken her eyes off Isobel during her entire tirade and as she'd witnessed the immeasurable agony lingering behind the angry façade, she was struck by the realisation that with time, Isobel's compassionate nature had been a profound influence on the way she chose to conduct herself in certain situations. Employing the stern Dowager Countess persona had served her well over the years, but in this instance, she believed that particular approach would most likely cause even more harm. Violet found there to be no merit in continuing in this manner and for the sake of her relationship with Isobel, she resolved to forego her own hurt feelings and concede – but not entirely, nor without significant apprehension.

"I do not deny my adverse feelings concerning the way you and Matthew were thrust upon our family," Violet admitted reluctantly, carefully choosing her words to convey her utter discontent about their current situation, before opting to continue in a softer tone of voice.

"Though certainly by now, Isobel, you must know that those feelings are no longer valid?"

Isobel looked at her and sighed.

"Perhaps," she agreed, having calmed down somewhat by Violet's admission.

"But it wasn't easy on either Matthew or me to be confronted with your disapproving glares and snide remarks on a daily basis. Your continued rejection felt not unlike that of Dickie's sons," she confessed, feeling another onset of tears replace her anger.

Violet cringed as she let the truth of Isobel's words wash over her. When she noticed Isobel's eyes welling up again, Violet was at a loss; her own eyes a mirror to the flow of conflicting emotions she was experiencing. Despite her earlier decision to put an end to their conversation before their relationship would be damaged irreparably, the impulse to comfort Isobel was overtaken by her own sense of indignation. The offensive way in which Isobel had spoken to her, had impacted her more than she'd expected. She had been profoundly hurt and at the same time she felt terribly ashamed by her own past behaviour, but rather than admit to her feelings and deal with them accordingly, she decided to take the trusted imperious approach in an effort to dismiss the source of her pain. However, before Violet could respond, Isobel dropped her gaze and turned towards the window, leading Violet to mirror her movement. As the car drove on, neither woman spoke for several minutes, both lost in their own thoughts, neither one ready to concede, though both wishing to.

* * *

Isobel felt quite vindicated in finally getting her feelings off her chest, even though in truth, she deeply regretted the way the situation had spiralled out of control rather quickly. After all they had been through together, the confrontation about their past and the way their relationship had come about had been inevitable, but Isobel couldn't have envisioned the degree to which she'd let her bitterness take control. Her ornery behaviour had been entirely unlike her and the way she'd spoken to Violet had been unacceptable. If she'd witnessed someone else addressing Violet in such a way, she would have spoken up in her defense. As it was, _she_ had been that person, which made the need to apologise even more apparent. But then again, she knew the truth had to be said and dealt with if they were ever to truly trust and be honest with one another. While Isobel gathered the courage to face her cousin, Violet was lost in her own train of thought.

The experience of going through conflicting emotions wasn't one she was particularly fond of and, to a certain extent, it made her feel out of her depth. Violet was indeed conscious of the fact that Isobel's sudden accusatory behaviour was the result of the pain she felt over Lord Merton's sons' rejection. That did however not diminish the sentiment nor the impact of her words. In almost all of her spirited discussions with Isobel, Violet had had the upper hand, but this time, it had been Isobel who'd held the trump card – the truth. Violet had felt insulted by the way Isobel had spoken to her, but that feeling had quickly been negated by the realisation of knowing her words to be true, and acknowledging that fact, even to herself, had made her feel remorseful of her own actions.

In the past, Violet had found ways to justify her behaviour, if only to herself, but over time she had come to recognise she had been wrong in her early assessment of Isobel. Yet even now, when Isobel had directly confronted her, she had been unable – or was it unwilling? – to repent and ask for her forgiveness. She'd wanted desperately to convey to Isobel how much she regretted the way in which their relationship had started off and how much she'd come to rely on her as a friend, but her misguided sense of pride had intervened. Isobel's accusations had made her reinstate the defenses that had been slowly torn down during their growing relationship. Violet had once haughtily proclaimed that she wasn't familiar with the sensation of being wrong - a conviction that certainly did not hold true at this very moment.

However, Violet wasn't beyond the ability to admit defeat. She merely needed some time to decide on the right approach to rectify her mistakes. Isobel's uncharacteristic outburst had left its mark on her. No other person had dared to challenge her in such a way since Igor Kuragin. Igor... No. She couldn't allow her mind to wander. Right now, her relationship with Isobel was in peril and in need of mending. Once again she was surprised to find Isobel taking charge.

"Cousin Violet?"

Violet turned her head towards Isobel, the look on her face a combination of displeasure and contrition.

"I am sorry for the way I spoke to you. You meant to comfort me, yet I in turn chose to repay your kindness with hurtful accusations. I suppose my judgment had been temporarily clouded by my feelings of grief over tonight's unfortunate outcome. Please do accept my apology. I never meant to cause you any pain. I value your friendship above all others," Isobel confessed, hoping it wasn't too late to make amends.

Violet sighed, relieved that Isobel had decided to dispel the tension between them and in doing so, had given her a way to atone for her own actions.

"I accept your apology, Isobel, as I find myself in need of offering you one," she said candidly.

"In spite of the unexpected harshness of your words earlier, I believe they needed to be said as well as heard. It is indeed true that I was less than accommodating when you and Matthew first came to Downton all those years ago, and for that I offer you my sincere apology. However, those days have long since gone as well as the feelings that accompanied them. Your company has come to be of great value to me and I do very much delight in the time we spend together. Please be assured of that."

Isobel felt a profound sense of relief at hearing Violet's words. She smiled broadly and reached over to gently touch Violet's forearm.

"Thank you, cousin Violet. I cannot tell you what it means to me to hear you say that."

Violet returned her smile awkwardly, still feeling slightly uncomfortable at having been forced to divulge her feelings and acknowledge she had been erroneous in her opinion of the woman sitting next to her. She looked down at Isobel's hand on her arm and stroked it lightly, relieved that their friendship had been able to survive their unexpectedly heated altercation.

"What do you propose to do about the situation with Lord Merton?" she asked, grateful to be able to change the subject.

"I wish I knew," Isobel sighed, moving her hand away from Violet's arm.

"I do care deeply for Dickie, but I do not wish to harm his relationship with his sons in any way. They have already lost their mother. I would never be able to forgive myself if by choosing my own happiness, I would be responsible for taking their father away from them as well."

"Perhaps it would be wise to refrain from making a decision just yet," Violet suggested.

"At least until you have had an opportunity to discuss what happened with Lord Merton. In the past, you've always been able to speak to him about matters close to your heart. This should prove no exception."

"You may be right," Isobel nodded affirmatively before looking closely at Violet.

"I truly appreciate your support, cousin Violet, especially since I know you do not approve of my relationship with Dickie."

"Isobel dear, my lack of approval does not mean I wish to see you hurt. It pains me greatly to watch you go through this ordeal when there is no earthly need for it," Violet said honestly.

Isobel noted the sincerity in Violet's voice, which warmed her heart, "Thank you."

"There is no need to thank me, Isobel. You, my dear, are a Crawley. And we Crawleys take care of each other," Violet said decidedly, a genuine smile adorning her well-defined features.

"I cannot predict what the future will hold for you and Lord Merton, but I can think of no better person to keep those self-indulgent, insolent sons of his on their toes. They aren't aware of it yet, but I daresay they will find that in you, they have met their match."

Isobel chuckled and felt a slight blush adorn her tear-stained cheeks.

* * *

As Isobel watched the contours of Crawley House come closer into view, she felt grateful to finally be able to enjoy the comfort and safety of her own home.

"Would you like me to come back with you?" Violet asked when the car slowly came to a halt.

"That is the very last thing I want," Isobel replied warmly, her eyes revealing a slight twinkle as she recalled a similar conversation a little over a year ago.

Violet smiled knowingly at Isobel, her mind travelling back to the moment Isobel had subtly referred to and the eventful days that had followed, which had made her realise that Isobel had become an important person in her life. A person she could trust and rely upon, even, and perhaps most importantly, during trying times.

Isobel alighted from the car, not waiting for the chauffeur to open the door, which earned her a disapproving glare from Violet. She walked around to the other side of the car, just as Violet rolled down the window.

"Do come round to tea tomorrow, won't you, Isobel?" Violet insisted, her voice warm and affectionate.

"I will, thank you. I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday afternoon," Isobel accepted with a slight smile.

"Good night," she said before turning around and walking towards the front door, finding it impossible to not let the weight of what had happened bring her physically down.

"Isobel..." Violet softly called back to her, moved after having witnessed her cousin's burdened posture.

Isobel stopped and turned to look at Violet, taking a few steps back into the direction of the car.

"Yes?" she asked politely, even though all she really wanted was to walk into her house and up the stairs to her bedroom where she could get away from the harshness of reality, if only for a couple of hours.

"If you will allow me to offer you one more piece of advice?"

Violet continued after Isobel gave her a small nod.

"Love is not for those faint of heart or weak of spirit. If it is within one's grasp, it is worth pursuing with fervour," she concluded, her look laced with a hint of sadness, before tapping at the partition with her cane again.

"Good night," her words illuminated by a warm smile as she rolled up the car window again.

Isobel watched the car drive off, considering Violet's words, before she again made her way up the path towards Crawley House where she would finally be able to give free rein to her emotions.


End file.
